The Chainstore Massacre 2017

Chainstore Massacre

The London Chainstore Massacre

Saturday 28th October 2017

Who will survive… and what will be left of them?

Healthy movement requires a strong body and a strong mind. Test both and throw yourself headlong into our annual physical/mental challenge event, the London Chainstore Massacre! A full day of intensive movement conditioning from the multi-award winningย coaches of Parkour Generations, held at the monster factory that is The Chainstore Parkour Gym.

Get a beasting, get into the best shape of your life, or get outโ€ฆ The choice is yours. Those left at the end of the day will receive an exclusive survival souvenir, not available anywhere else, and can bask in the warm glow of their trial by fire receding behind them. Until next year, that is…

The Massacre is open to everyone to take part, and your three lives will at the very least keep you in the hunt until the lunch-break! It’s a rip-roaring, mind-bending, body-testing ride of a day that you’ll never forget. A-Game required. Bring heart.

Event Information

The Rules – Simple: show up and survive a full day of physical challenges, strength and conditioning drills, movement tasks and general fitness tests. The catch? You won’t know what the Massacre will throw at you until the day, so it’s a true test of your functional fitness and adaptive capabilities. The rules are simple: you will be issued with 3 ‘lives’ when you start – fail to complete a challenge and you lose one life. Once you’ve lost all 3, you’re out and get to watch the survivors battle on without you. Simple. There’s no event quite like this anywhere in the world, and we know it’s an unreasonable challenge… but that’s why you’re in, right?

Who can come? – Anyone over the age of 16 is welcome. Ideal for fitness enthusiasts, obstacle course racers, parkour practitioners, lifters and athletes of all shapes and sizes. Complete beginners, intermediates and advanced individuals will all be challenged and pushed to their limits.

Where will it be? – The Chainstore Parkour Academy, Trinity Buoy Wharf, 64 Orchard Place, London, E14 0JY. Nearest transport link is East India DLR station.

When will it be? – Saturday October 28th 2017, from 10am until it ends…

How much does it cost? ยฃ50. (Standard Members receive a 10% discount, Premium memberships include the event as part of their membership – registration still required)

How do I book? – Please see below.

How many tickets are available? – Strictly 60 places are available for this event! Once theyโ€™re gone theyโ€™re gone, so grab yours now!ย 

What happens after? – We party! We throw a Halloween Party at the Chainstore Gym immediately following the event, for everyone who took part. Costumes, craziness and horror are all encouraged.ย 



Booking Coming Soon!

Good luck.

Any questions not answered on this page? Please email us on and we will get straight back to you.